Monday, January 19, 2009

Crazy Cycle, Crazy Dream....

Well I am going to be open for a minute, why not its my blog right? well Last night I had a dream that i was pregnant, it could be because it has been 43 days since my last period and the possibility of being pregnant has been on my mind, even though i have taken test and only get one little pink line, so last night it my dream it was crazy.... Nick and I were out running around in some weird house, and the thought kept running through my mind, in my dream ( weird right) that i was pregnant, so i started tearing up the house that we were in in search of a pregnancy test, i remember trying to be very secretive about this because i didnt want nick to think I was crazy, once i had finally found one and ripped it open took off the cap and sat down to .... well you know, and so i guess in my nervousness i well didnt just pee on the little paint brush looking end ( ucky i know, but it was a DREAM) sooooo In my dream by doing so it ruined my test, and i couldnt see the results... so now back to real life, i wake up and think to myself, man im sooo sick of playing this game, i want to stop thinknig it is a possibility, i mean I have taken a pregnancy test already and like i mentioned before i got ONE pink line (negative) but after my dream last night i decided to take my last test i had under the sink.... ( yes, i know, why do i have test under my sink??) well i will get to that in a minute....

well i took the test and again ONE pink line.

now to why i have test under my sink.... well i will be open and honest, Nick and I both decided that we were going to do natural family planning, it is something that we both believe in because we dont like taking any un necessary medication and we don't want to mess up Gods plan for us. So since we have been married, i think just about every month i am late i take a test.... i know, im crazy, lol its not that we are tryin to have a child but i think it is just part of my suuuper organized/scheduled personality that i want to know EVERYTHING when i want to know it, or because before I never had to worry about being pregnant because well it just wasnt a possiblity, and now that i am married it is..... does that make sense?!?! or am I crazy?

so what i have come to realize is that I just have a Super Crazy messed up cycle and i just need to keep remembering that when i am late because, these test sure are expensive !!!