today I decided after all the changes I was experiencing through out the weekend that I would call into my Dr. Office and see if I cant get looked at. They got me in with a regular OB there because my midwife is only there on Wednesday. after I hung up the phone with the office I had an appointment scheduled for 1:15 and had a smile ear to ear... I showered and got cleaned up, ran the sweeper to have that nice line look in the carpet and made sure that babies car seat, and our packed bags were all easily located, that way if we found out good news we or someone would have been able to go pick them up for us.
I picked Nick up for the appointment and we headed downtown. walked in the room and waited for the Dr to walk in, he comes in and asks " so you have been having consistent contractions?" Im like no... I just have had a noticeable amount of pressure in my lower abdominal area and had menstrual like cramps, but nothing that has ever been timed... he says ok well lay back and we will take a look ( mind you this is my first vaginal exam to check progress) and he says, Well her head is down so that is the pressure you are feeling but your Cervix is completely closed. he tells me I can sit up and get dressed and he will be right back with a pamphlet that will tell me all about how to tell if I am in actual labor... seriously Mr I know I will know when I am in labor, you can keep your stupid pamphlet!!!!
So I got dressed and he came back in the room... handed me the stupid pamphlet and said well i see you have an apt for wednesday and honestly you can just cancel that and I would just com next week sometime... oh really Mr. thats great because NEXT WEEK IS PAST MY DUE DATE....
so i smiled said thanks and walked out.
I walked out knowing that the next time I walk in that office it will be January FREAKING FOURTH AND I WILL BE PAST MY DUE DATE!!!!!!
I don't think I said a word as Nick and I walked to the elevator, or to the car or even when we got out on the road...
there were a lot of things running through my mind, but i didn't want to formulate sentences...
and then i figured I better just get the phone calls out of the way, so I called mom, dad, and grandma to tell them all our baby is happy and healthy, and mommas cervix is closed so she will most likely be pregnant for the rest of her life.
everyone is so encouraging and I truly appreciate it, but I am allowed to feel some frustration right now at-least for a little bit, and you know what I was even entitled to that nice Medium Chocolate Milk shake I got on my ride home...
