Monday, October 19, 2009

Have You Been Here Before ..

Have you had those days where you feel all your doing is thinking... thinking about your future and then you get overwhelmed with making the "right" decision... and before you realze it you find yourself flustered as to what path to follow, so you pray, and then get flustered and ask yourself are you hearing the message clear? or are you twisting it to what YOU want..... or are you hearing anything at all? well this is where I find we are. My husband and I are finding ourselfs in this unique position. we are young. 23 and 25 yrs of age, both with degrees mine in Psychology and his in Communications. While in college we both landed great paying jobs that offered great bennefits.  towards graduation Nick found himself faced with a new oportunity, something he had not thought of before but all of a sudden became very interested, this was the oportunity to become a State Farm insurance agent. He began his path taking all the steps necessary to make that goal become a reality one day passing each step with flying colors.  I continued working for the company that we both were originally at during college, only now I had graduated and was living at home awaiting our wedding day. 

Nick and I got married and headed to Jamaica on our long honeymoon with the Golden ticket in his hand that had State Farms stamp of aproval to one day become an agent. after returning from our honeymoon we began out lives together in Carmel Indiana , he was working for a state farm agent learning the ropes of the business and getting all of his licensing taken care of, I was still working for the same company as i was in college. 

so there we were, recently married and both holding great jobs, although my job required that I work weekends, we were working diligently on becomming debt free so we didnt mind, we achieved that just 7 or 8 months ago.  Paid off both student loan debt, my car, our honeymoon, and our part of wedding.  It was great, to achieve such happiness and freedom at our age. We both agreed that this would put us in the best position for starting our lives together, agreeing that we didnt want to live with the pain and suffering we have seen in other people when you are living with debt. 

After nights of talking about where we were in life, we both agreed we were ready to advance our future, taking that furthering step with having nick apply for a posted position for an agency that would have been  in Arizona. we were flown out there, Nick presented his business plan and the room was lit up with smiles, and all we liking what he represented. I sat in that interview in amazement, with such awe for my husband, I was so proud of him, and I truly enjoyed seeing him express his passion and drive for this oportunity.  when the interview ended they had nothing but positive feedback , but after looking at our financial situation, the one Nick and I felt confident in, we were told that we should work on having more liquid funds available and were given the number of 25,000 that they would like to see us have. 

there we were, 23 and 25, having just paid off over $40,000 worth of debt, looking at eachother on the plane ride home reasuring eachother that if we could have done it all over again, we would have continued to pursue becomming debt free. So we learned from that situation and decided that we were going to work just as hard at Building up our saving act with as much intensity as we paid off all the debt. feeling confident in all other areas that once we have the financial side built up better that there would be no stopping us.

while on our plan for saving, and enjoying our marriage together we talked of having a child and God surely blessed us.  We were elated with this information and were so excited for our soon to be expanding family. We quickly set up a savings account just for our little one, we had already opened a 529 plan while in college knowing that one day we would be married and have a family, and we wanted them to have a college fund already in place when it was time for them to go, so they wouldnt have to take on student loan debt like 95 % of American college students do.  so we continued contributing to the 529 plan while also setting aside a certain amt of $ each month for our little one that would take care of crib buying and ect....

while I advanced further along in my pregnancy we were faced with a choice, were we going to stay in Carmel with our baby or were we going to move back home to Granger to be where my family was so that when the baby was born we would have family take care of  our baby during the day becuase I would have to be going back to work because remember we are still saving and building up to have the funds for nick to apply again.  We had to decide rather quickly for my job purposes becuase the longer we waited the further along i got along and the closer i got to taking maternity leave... and if I was going to keep my job which we needed so dearly, then we needed to go asap.  We chose that moving with family would put us in the best position, even though it would cost us a substantial amt to make the move, but because we had the $ set aside although it was for savings, we chose to use that rather than put it on a credit card.

so we moved, we are renting a beautiful home at an incrediable price, and we are saving 100% of my income and living soley off nicks income.  his covers all of our insurance expenses, bills, and gets us whatever else we need, but we arent out buying new cars, and all the home decor that I would love to have knowing that one day we will have it and live like no one else.

I have longed for him to have the oportunity of opening his own office because when this happends it will allow we to work for him from home and be a SAHM ( stay at home mom) for our little baby girl.  I will admit this has been something I drempt of, almost to the point of fantasised about just becuase it feels so close like I can see the finish line i just cant reach it.

Nick and I feel more comfortable with our financial side as we are nearing the marking point that we have always wanted to be at and we will then start investing in money market accounts and funny funding a roth IRA.. so we are making progress and we are very fortunate, but there arent any posted positions currently in this area.

So we wait, or do we wait? or for how long?  I long for home ownership and establishment and all that comes along with that, but on the same side I know that day is in our deck of cards that will get played out one day.. now obviously we are renting and are under contract that will take us throgh the summer, and we are having a baby  in like  74 days!! so you can see the importance of staying with the midwife and doula that I have been seeing through out the pregnancy. 

I find myself feeling fortunate that I have been blessed with the greatest gift of carying a child, and feel so greatful for the husband that I have and the love and strenght our marriage holds, and knowing that where ever we are we are there together, as a family, one that suports one another, but find myself reaching for that "Next Step" but latly that "Next Step" has seemed blured, have we been limiting ourselves? or just not giving it enough time... have we involved God enough? have we been praying for the right thing, have we been listening? these are the questions we both find ourselves asking, having faith in knowing that one day all will be revealed to us, just trying to wait patiently in the mean time.

1 comment:

Ash said...

it's hard when you can see the next step but can't reach it just yet. Your time will come, continue to be patient and God's plan will become more clear. I know exactly what you mean when you pray and pray for something and then try to turn everything into what you want. God has a different plan for every family and only he knows that plan we are in the waiting area and need to wait to find out what the next step that we are to take. Your family's plan will be shown to you when the time is right. We are all waiting so all we can do is pray and wait together.